i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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