So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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