do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize