dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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