we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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