"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
