i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
