Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize