my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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