Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I see more hoeing in ur future
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