Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
