he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
