People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
