New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Let's get the cat blown out
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
