so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize