Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
