OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
