and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
