If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
