His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
then he tried to convert me to islam
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
