Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
