Ambien. No doubt about it.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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