Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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