i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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