I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
