You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
