so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
