i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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