we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
