Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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