i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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