I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
