is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
pop tarts are not kleenex
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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