even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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