You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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