shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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