Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
