I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize