Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
