he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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