all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
