I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
