Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
