Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You work out of a Hotel?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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