talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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