this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
