I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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