The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
