WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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