Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
