how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
