the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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