u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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