stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
