I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
