people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
