I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
sarcasm needs its own font
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
