Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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