remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
