She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
