So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize
