I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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