in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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